ABSUK Forum

Welcome to the Adult Burn Support UK (ABSUK) forum

Our forum is free and provides a safe place for adult burn survivors to connect and support each other by discussing and sharing their personal experiences of burns related issues.  It’s easy to use: simply browse the ‘recent topics’ listed in each category to see what’s being talked about.  You can post, comment or reply by clicking an existing topic or if you can’t find what you’re looking for, start a new topic by clicking into a category, click add topic, name it and type your message.  You need to be registered to use our forum so please register or login

If at any time you are unhappy with posts you see on our forum, please report it to forumadmin@adultburnsupportuk.org.

 

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(@marga)
Member
Joined:5 months  ago
Posts: 1
01/06/2021 9:43 pm  

Hello there 

It’s taking me a long time to write this but I think it’s time and some advice would be great. 

I burnt my hand when I was around 2 years old so probably about 1990. I was running around and tripped over the iron cable and burnt the inside of my hand and fell onto my chest. My whole right palm is burnt. I just have a little scar on my chest. 

I always found it very hard and still to this day to open up about my experience. I’m still bad for hiding my hand really quickly to people so I don’t expose it. My close friends and family have seen it and I don’t feel uneasy around them because they love me for who I am. But I find when I meet knew people, especially in relationships I find it really hard to open up about it with fear of rejection. I think it’s been the reason for a lot of my failed relationships because of my insecurities about it.

I always remember being in school and some of the boys looking at my hand and saying it was horrible and I think since then, I have this insecurity of being rejected/scared what people will think because of comments made to me in the past. Probably why I still hide it to this day. It would be nice to hear if anyone else had something similar experience and how they moved forward from it? 

Thank you so much


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(@jennf)
Member Admin
Joined:5 years  ago
Posts: 11
08/06/2021 12:41 pm  

Dear Marga,

Thanks for registering and posting to our forum.  I’m part of the ABSUK admin team.  I’m sorry to hear of your insecurity surrounding your burn scars.   You are not alone in feeling this way, many burn survivors go through this.   It can take some time for other burn survivors to respond on this forum so hopefully you will hear from someone soon.   

We host an online live chat every Wednesday evening, 7.30pm – 9.00pm (UK time) where burn survivors and anyone affected by burns can join in to share experiences, ask questions, have a chat and support each other.   It’s a private, safe space for participants to share freely.    It’s online so you will need to type your dialogue.  

If you are interested in joining in, you would just need to login any Wednesday evening then click the ‘live chat’ button at the top of the screen which takes you to the live chat page where you’ll need to click ‘join live chat’.   The live chat is a very welcoming and supportive community.  

Please feel free to join the live chat any Wednesday.  

Best wishes,

Jennf


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(@polski)
Member Moderator
Joined:3 years  ago
Posts: 34
08/06/2021 3:23 pm  

Hi Marga,

I am sorry to hear of your accident when you were young and sorry that your scarring is having a long term impact on your relationships and life.  I am also scarred on my hand and arms and left side and I have over the years got used to exposing it day to day. Maybe as I can’t easily hide it, I have been forced to confront it more and therefore learned to live with the “new” me.  I know that I hated wearing a watch for many years as it would draw my eye to my scarring which was then very red and angry. It is only in the past year that I have started wearing a watch (18 years on!). 

Have you ever had any counselling to help you cope with your injury? It sounds like that would be a good step or perhaps talking to some other burn survivors might help too?   We have to learn to love our skin again and this takes time and a lot of love and patience.

Best wishes, 

 

Polski


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