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My partners mum died in a horrific house fire on Friday 1st July and he is in a medically induced coma in ICU with life changing burns. He has had 2 emergency skin grafts so far with many more to come. He is sedated and has ventilation tube. We are on day 10 now and my heart is broken. I feel so useless. He hasn’t been told about his mum. Not stable enough yet. I feel like my life is in chaos. How do I stay strong.
I’m part of the Admin team at Adult Burn Support UK and Dan’s Fund For Burns. So sorry to hear about your partner and the loss of his mum in a house fire. It can’t be an easy time for you and your support will be invaluable to him. Burns can be life changing and recovery can take a long time. The burn service has counselling available to both the burn survivor and their family so it may be worth asking if you could have a chat with one of the burns therapists as they have experience in helping you deal with your feelings and processing what has happened.
On this website, every Wednesday evening, 7.30-9.00pm, we host a weekly online burn support live chat. Our moderators are all burn survivors themselves and the live chat provides a space where adult burn survivors and anyone affected by burns can come to ask questions, share experiences and mutually support each other. If you’d like to join us, you’ll need to complete a one-off registration form and then login and join any Wednesday evening. You can click the blue ‘live chat’ button near the top of the screen to find out more.
The burns team have years of experience dealing with burn injured adults so do feel free to ask them any questions you have as they are best placed to assist you with your queries.
If you’d like to have quick chat with us, please send an email through our contact form on this website and we will be in touch.
Wishing your partner all the best for his recovery. Stay strong.
I am so sorry to hear about the devastating house fire your partner and his mum were in recently. I know firsthand the trauma you are currently going through, having been in a bomb blast in Bali nearly 20 years ago and losing all 9 friends including my husband in the blast itself. Being there day in day out whatever happens and letting him know you are there for him will be invaluable. My Mum and Dad flew out to Brisbane and sat by my bed day in day out telling me how much loved I was and how grateful they were that I was still alive. There were many tears and huge heartache but slowly over time I recovered physically and then in turn emotionally.
It is a long journey and you are just at the start. You will need to ensure you stay well so that you can help your partner to grieve and adjust to his new life with burns. There is support out there for you and its great you have got in touch to start finding that support.
Practice lots of deep breathing to keep calm and there will be a lot of patience required and strength too – just please ensure you don’t take it all on your shoulders alone.